As mamas we want to create a peaceful, happy home atmosphere. There are many ways we can work on that. It was often said that the mom is the one who controls the atmosphere of the home, I don’t think she is solely responsible, but as moms who are at home a lot of the time, we do have a big part to play in the home atmosphere that is created.
(You can hear about it on YouTube here if you want.)
Sometimes we have so much going on in our own minds and hearts that we don’t take care of the atmosphere around us. I want to share some tips that have helped me as a busy mom of little ones to work on the home atmosphere.
As a newlywed my prayer was that my home would be a resting place from this hard world, and a happy place my family would want to come back to because of the memories lingering there. That is still my prayer, so here are some ways I work on myself to create that home atmosphere.
Try to be present whenever you are around your family, as much as possible. Even when we are often busy, we can still be living in the moment. Look at your little ones and smile at them. Show them you are consciously thinking about them, and that you care about them. Listen to them.
I started noticing recently that if I was on my phone while nursing the baby, or not paying attention to them, then my other children would quarrel a whole lot more. When I decided to try to not be on my phone around them so much, and instead pay attention to them as much as I could, they became a lot happier and less quarrelsome.
Even if we are not perfect singers, singing can really cheer up the home atmosphere. I am trying to work on this to make it a habit, because it certainly isn’t a habit for me. You can also turn on songs and sing along. Sing or play happy, restful, peaceful songs.
When we are present more we can often practice more patience with our little ones than if we are distracted. Do what it takes to work on your patience. That doesn’t mean you always need to be biting your tongue to not speak sharply when your children are not listening, sometimes it means just sitting down and thinking of a good way to train your children.
Recently I started noticing that my children weren’t listening to me and quickly obeying. It wasn’t either that they were being rebellious, but they were simply not paying attention, and it was starting to get at me. When I started catching myself getting impatient and upset with them, I decided it was time to sit down and think of a solution.
I then called my girls to me and told them we would try something new. Every time they wouldn’t obey me quickly and cheerfully, they would get a mark under their name on the whiteboard. After 5 marks they would get an extra chore. We erase any marks and start fresh each morning. Things quickly improved, and best of all I could cheerfully remind them and make a mark, instead of getting impatient.
I have noticed that my children don’t like impatient parents. They usually prefer consequences for their actions and a cheerful parent, over having me getting impatient and short tempered with them.
Your home atmosphere depends a lot on how you feel. As a mom we can work on practicing gratitude. Sometimes I am tempted to complain about my little house, the unfinished walls, or that nothing matches and the walls aren’t painted. If I remember that I have it so much better than so many in the world, and count my blessings, I really do find that I have so much to be thankful for. The more I think about the things I am thankful for, the more I am able to feel happy and peaceful.
Take care of yourself.
As moms we can’t just always go out and rest or relax whenever we wish, but there are small ways we can take care of that we don’t get too burned out, so we can create the home atmosphere we desire.
It doesn’t mean we should force ourselves to look and act happy always even when we don’t feel like it. We have feelings we need to acknowledge, but work on whatever is hindering you from creating that atmosphere in the home.
Sometimes when I have to think through issues and work through things, my patience is shorter. We can’t ignore those situations. But for me sometimes I realize that for my children’s sake I need to come back to some things a bit later. So I set those feelings aside, and revisit the occasion in my mind once I have a chance later in the day.
I have heard that the best gift you can give your children is your own healing. Don’t bury hurt from the past or present situations. Work it through, so that you can stop the cycle. I am no expert in this, but I encourage you to find someone who can help you, and don’t ignore your own feelings. We can’t run on empty.
Try to make it a priority to also spend quiet time with God each day, even if it is just for a few minutes. We need His help and presence in creating our peaceful, happy home atmosphere.
Train your children.
Our children need to grow up in happy, peaceful homes. There are ways to work on giving them that with training.
Establish good routines.
Children thrive on routines. When they know what is coming next, they feel more secure. Along with having a cheerful mama, work on consciously creating good routines in your home.
Get out of the house.
Running around too much can be stressful for your children, but on the other hand we all sometimes need a break from the daily grind. Try to get your children (and yourself!) out of the house occasionally. Even just playing outside can be good for anyone’s happiness.
Work on your house for a good home atmosphere.
Home is where the heart is. That doesn’t mean the home has to be a perfect place. Your children will remember more how they felt than how poor your home was. In any home, whether rich or poor, you can also work on the physical house to create a peaceful atmosphere, though on one hand that comes in second place after the atmosphere you create.
Keep it clean and organized.
A clean, organized home helps things to feel more restful. But we shouldn’t stress over it when we can’t keep it like we wish, especially with young children. Do the best you can with housekeeping as a busy mom, and teach your children to help with chores. Then smile and sing, and forget the rest!
Work on minimalizing.
Having too much stuff can really feel stressful. Make it a habit to declutter as you go about your day. Whenever you see things you don’t need and use, give it away or pitch it. Teach your children to not keep everything. If there are too many toys lying around, get rid of some, or at least set up a toy rotation system.
Add decor that helps your home atmosphere.
Your home atmosphere can be helped sometimes by the decorating you do to make you house an inviting place. Even on a budget, you can bring in a bouquet of wildflowers or other things that can add a bit cheer. Burn candles in the evening, or add other touches that you and your family can enjoy.
Home Sweet Home
There is an old song that goes:
“What makes a happy family? Listen, and I will tell. It’s not your house. It’s not your car, or the toys you like so well. The trips you take, or the radio, or the money you have to spend. It’s something better than all of these. It’s something that will not end.
It’s love of dad who works so hard to get the things we need. It’s mother loving and helping you in every kindly deed. It’s sister’s love, and brother’s love, and your love for each one, that makes a happy family when every day is done!”
(You can find the music here. Some of the words are a bit different than what I learned growing up.)
Creating the home atmosphere you desire can be a lot of work, but I think it is worth it to create a haven for our family and others who need a resting place in this hard world. Work with your own heart’s needs, train your children with love and joy, and work on your housekeeping to make your home, sweet home!
Save it for later.