The best way to support a grieving mother is to simply be there for them. Pray for them, don’t offer a lot of advice, and sit with them in their tears.
Maybe I am not the right person to be writing this, as I haven’t experienced some of the deepest grief that many mothers have such as the death of a spouse or loss of a child, or a beloved child who makes all the wrong choices in life and turns away from following God.
My closest touch with grief in those forms as a mother so far was a miscarriage I had a few years ago. However, I have struggled with other areas of pain, and I want to share the lessons I have learned. My prayer is that it will encourage you to pray for and bless a grieving parent.
I had plenty of time to prepare myself for the miscarriage I went through between my second and third children, as I wasn’t having the normal pregnancy symptoms. Then an ultrasound showed a tiny baby, far smaller than we expected, and we couldn’t see a heartbeat. We waited it out and a bit over a week later, my body went through the miscarriage.
On one hand with all the mental preparation beforehand, and because I hadn’t had a hard time having children before, it wasn’t as hard as I have heard miscarriage to be for some others. Still, I occasionally wonder what my child would have been like, and I look forward to meeting him/her in heaven someday.
Several different friends showered me with love at that time. I still hold close to my heart the couple that drove out of their way to bring me a bunch of flowers. It meant so much that someone cared to do the extra. Our immediate family nearby also did so much to help us out over that difficult time too.
Prayer for a Grieving Mother
If you know a mother who is grieving today, the first thing you can do for her is pray for her. Bring her to the Heavenly Father, as He knows best what she needs. Ask for wisdom on how you can support her in this time. Here is a short prayer to get started with.
Today I bring this mother with a broken heart to You. You understand her pain. Hold her in Your loving arms in this time of need. I pray Your Holy Spirit would comfort her. Be her source of strength, grace, and hope in this time. May the peace of God fill her grieving heart.
O Lord, Help me to be the friend I need to be in this time of sorrow. Put words in my mouth if I should say something, or take them away if I shouldn’t. In Jesus’ name, Amen
More Ways to Support a Grieving Friend
Weep with those who weep.
One of the most common Bible verses used for this topic of a grieving friend is Romans 12:15 where it says, “ Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Grieving people often just need someone to sit with them at this time.
We need to be careful not to be like Job’s friends who came and told him all kinds of things that he was doing wrong, according to them. Weep with your weeping friend, and trust God to do the rest. It’s okay if you don’t know any of the right words to say.
Jesus Christ also wept when Martha and Mary were going through the valley of the shadow of death, even though He knew their time of grief would soon be past when He would raise Lazarus from the dead.
The longer I live the more I understand that everyone has or is going through something hard. You might not know what it is exactly or how it affects them, but you can simply be kind. If you have a friend who is going through grief, be kind even if you don’t understand why it affects them so much.
Maybe it’s just me, but in any hard time, I sure appreciate not having to think of what meals to make for myself or my children. A meal dropped off means so much. Something like a hot soup can be so comforting. Find some simple way to bless your friend as she is grieving.
Bring flowers or a simple gift.
While no roses or gifts heal the heavy heart, sometimes a simple gesture can mean so much. As I mentioned, the flower bouquet that another mom brought me at the time of my miscarriage was so special, even if I am not the type of woman to want a lot of flowers.
Maybe even more it meant something that they went out of their way to bring it to me. Over the following days, I could look at the bouquet on my table and remember that I was not alone.
I remember years ago getting several white roses for Mother’s Day and leaving them with a simple note for my grieving friends. I remember how much it blest at least one of them.
You can also do this for wives and daughters who have lost their husbands or fathers, or someone who has lost a child. Or maybe someone has gone through the loss of a mother, and they just need some motherly love to help them to not give up. It’s the gesture that counts.
Send a message.
Some years after our miscarriage, those friends who brought me a bouquet went through a miscarriage themselves. I was too far away to take the mom anything, but I tried to let her know my support through messages.
When someone has reached out to me even with just a simple message saying, ” I care and I am praying” in any sort of hard times, it has meant so much.
Remember them in the future.
After a blow of some sort to someone else, our life goes on, but theirs might feel like it is not. The journey of grief can be long. Remember to reach out some months, or even years down the road. It is so special when someone remembers us years later on hard dates. It makes anyone feel not so alone in the world if you share a bit of love.
I haven’t gone through some of these hardest losses and don’t understand all the deep pain, but I know when the time comes, it will be a source of comfort to have someone care about how I am doing in times of loss.
How have others blessed you in a time of grief?
Save it for Later.
Bless these family members who are hurting today. May they feel Your arms of love carrying them each step of the way. O God of all comfort, comfort them in the pain of loss. May they feel Your presence and unconditional love especially near in these times of grief. In Jesus’ Holy Name, Amen