Tips for Managing Screen Time (for Mom too!)
Let’s talk about managing screen time for the whole family, mom included. Because if we are honest, so often it starts with us.
There is something about trying to get away from the stresses of motherhood that draws some of us to the screen in our hands. It seems like a little break that should pick us up. Unfortunately, we usually find out too late that it doesn’t. What can we do about it?
First, we will discuss a bit about digital devices and children, and then how we as moms can control our own screens.
Children’s Screen Time
Lately we hear a lot about the dangers of too much screen time for our children. I once read of a mom wondering what she could do because her 20-year-old son was hooked on video games and would get very angry if he was asked to do anything else. It made me sad to read about that level of life, where you can enjoy nothing else. You will have a much easier time if you get that straight when your children our young.
See the video.
In my toughest mothering season where I desperately needed some time for myself, I started letting my children sit in front of a screen and watch a preapproved video every day after their bath. The videos had nothing wrong, and they gave me a bit of time to just have a break and take a bath myself without worrying about my children.
More recently we felt that especially now that some of the older ones are more capable of entertaining themselves and each other, it was time to change.
We set our screen time limits goal to about once a week that they can watch something. I still use it as a tool for when I need to do something and need them to be entertained, but it feels good to think that it doesn’t need to be so often. Sometimes I just need to discipline myself a bit to think of something else to keep them entertained. It also helps if they know there are set times for screen time so they don’t ask for it otherwise.
My children have always played a lot. I enjoy seeing that they are capable of having a good time, even without screens every day. They have lots of physical activity such as climbing trees, collecting bugs and caterpillars, making mud cakes, and certainly aren’t missing out on a rich childhood for not getting to use much screens. I am sure it is much better for their physical health as well.
A child’s screen time needs might change as they get older. Pray for much wisdom to know how to go about it all with older children. There are different ways to set up parental controls on devices. You can also require that screens get used in a common area such as the living room. At this stage I haven’t needed that yet as my children are young yet.
You can hear more about screen control for your children in this video by Simple Farmhouse Life podcast.
That is all good. But what about for us mamas?
Screen Time Control for Moms
Maybe we have more mental capacity to handle screens. Or maybe not. Lately I have been thinking all about this thing of screen time for us moms. I remember stories and know for myself the times that being on my phone has made me snap at my children. I have started reading about other moms who chose to cut down on screen time for themselves while doing it very intentionally for their children too. We need to be a good example with the use of our cell phones.
As I work on setting a daily limit for my own screen time, I always notice something. I tend to grab my phone when nursing a baby or stirring a pot of food. But when I put it aside and pay attention to my children, the quarreling and bickering goes way down. It’s as though our children know when we are present for them, and when they feel heard and seen they don’t need to prove something of their worth to their siblings. Maybe good behavior is actually dependent on our time on our mobile devices.
Get someone to put a password on some of your apps.
There are several things my husband and I have done to try to be more present and intentional with our phone time. We have Google and other social media apps with a lock code. Each of us has to give the other “permission” to use those things. I know for me it cuts way down on the time I spend on my phone because I can’t do scrolling when my husband is at work. If I use it too much when he is around, he can remind me of how I really want to spend my time. All things comes with maintaining open communication with each other.
Right now I am using an app that allows me to schedule the time when I want it unblocked, so I have a small window of time for social media use and Google. There are also ways to set app limits if that works better for you.
Occasionally we need to get into some password-protected page when the other person is not around so then we just ask the other for the password, and change it next time we are together again. You can find different apps that do that.
Grayscale your phone, and time your phone use.
I use my phone a lot for taking pictures and messaging. Those are not bad things and often don’t take as much time as scrolling through social media. Even so, I have sometimes chosen to put it on grayscale so that I am not so drawn to the colors (and baby pictures actually look very cute in black and white). I also sometimes use an app that tells me how much time I spend on my phone. It reminds me to make sure that most of the time I spend on there is when my little ones are in bed.
It’s not that phones are all bad, it’s just that it is bad when we use them and neglect our family, or when we use them as a drug to numb us to the hard realities we need to feel and work through. Life is much deeper than the rectangle in our hands that has a way of drawing us in and causing us to shut out the world around us.
Try to lake up other healthy habits instead, so you can have a balanced approach to your phone and need even less screen time than you thought.
Put your phone aside.
Dear mama, I encourage you to put that phone aside. Set limits for yourself as you do for your children (or start for them too if you haven’t yet.) Live the present reality. Use your phone as a tool for good, but don’t let it take from the good you could be doing. Make sure there aren’t any screens at family meals.
You will see as you choose to be intentional with your time and present with your children what a blessing it can be. I am sure some of the quarreling among your little ones will cut down. You will be able to start thinking more about whatever systems you need to put in place to do what you need to do. As you spend less time scrolling, you will be able to do more of what you need to do, and that will cut down on your overwhelm.
Yes, life is full. Yes, I want to be an intentional mom. When I use my phone intentionally, I have more time to do what really matters. By healthy screen use we can take the good and about the bad of the online world.
I am certainly not perfect at being a good digital role model, but I want to keep working towards that.
You can do it too, mama!
Save it for later.
