When it Hurts to Love: Following Jesus’ Example As Moms
Lessons on Love
Back in my younger years I was a bird lover. I still like them, but I no longer own as many as I can or watch and study them as much.
One of my clearest memories is of a sparrow that I caught and kept in a cage. I gave him a name but don’t remember it. He was my own special pet. (Now I know that it is not kindness to catch a wild, adult bird and cage him, but at that time it was innocent love that motivated this 8-10-year-old girl.)
I remember the day I came home to find my birdie dead in a corner of his cage. With hot tears, in my mother’s comforting arms I burst out, “I will never love a bird again…”
My mother let me cry, and her words of wisdom come back to me today sometimes, “Just because something hurts, we can’t stop loving.”
Teaching My Children
Now navigating the pain of loss of pets with my own little girls, and knowing that someday they will feel bigger hurts too, I am working at teaching them the same lessons.
One of them especially is sensitive to the loss of pets, and for whatever reason we have lost several. I sometimes wonder how I can teach her to keep loving, that it will hurt, and not to lose hope.
Maybe if I can learn the lessons myself, she can learn to love by watching my reactions.
Just because something hurts…
Often love hurts, sometimes even more than physical pain. We love our family and friends, and then death separates us, and it hurts. For love of our babies we “hurt” to bring them into this world and raise them.
After years of pouring your life into your child, he may turn his back on you and on God, and that hurts. It hurts, and badly, too.
Some years ago we attended the funeral of a young man who was killed in a drug fight. The sadness and hurt his parents were going through was hard to see.
They had raised him in a Christian home, had loved and prayed for him, and had warned him of the ways he was going. He had turned his back on that all and lowered himself into the worst of lifestyles, when he knew a better way. He left them nothing more than a broken heart that can only be carried by the grace of God.
Sometimes it seems it would be easier to just not love, to harden our hearts and not care. Some people do that because the pain of love is hard to bear. But what would happen if we stopped loving?
…We Can’t Stop Loving
Our love softens this hard world. We may feel like the ones we love don’t return our love. Our husbands, children, family, and friends need our love to point them to Christ.
Though it is hard sometimes, and they act indifferent, our love brightens their lives. Our hearts and memories are richer for it too.
We need the strength from God to keep loving even in the hard times. And we need to learn to keep our hearts soft. It will hurt, but there will also be so much joy that we can experience with love.
Remember Jesus’ Example.
I have sometimes felt like just giving up on love, but we can’t. Remember, Jesus doesn’t either.
When our hearts bleed and we get no recompense for our love, we can remember the one who loved most of all, who showed us what true love is. Perhaps He is the reason we can keep loving.
He loved us when we rejected Him. He loves, even though many never respond to that real love.
Today, when you are tired of loving, remember the Lover of our souls. Let’s follow His example. He will give us grace to love when we are not loved in return, and when the ones we love hurt us whether intentionally or not.
Today if loving your family and all that entails looks impossible, look to Jesus who makes all things possible.He is doing a work in you, and He will bless you for loving even when it is hard.
Then go and serve your family with joy. Remember to let God fill your own cup so that you have to pour out to them.
Love often hurts, but we can’t afford to not love and turn this world into a cold place. Imagine how it would be if Jesus did not continue loving when His love is rejected over and over again. I can’t imagine a world with no love at all. We would all be dead already.
A Simple Prayer for You to Pray
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Your love that never fails. I need it every day.
Teach me to love like You. Help me even when it hurts to love. Keep my heart soft.
Help my love to lighten the load for others and make a bright spot in the lives of those closest to me.
Help me to love my family and to show my children what Your love is like.
In Jesus’ name, Amen
Save it for Later:
How Have You Learned to Love When It Hurts?
I admit that I still know very little about love and how it hurts. Many of you are many grades ahead of me in this school. So I want to learn from you too.
I would be honored if you shared your story in the comments or with me personally.
How has it hurt you to love?
How do you love when it hurts?
What do you do to keep your heart soft?
How have you seen the love of Jesus in your life?
In what ways do you see that love hurts moms the most?
You can also find my book Praying Mothers: A Guide to Prayer for Busy Moms on Amazon if you want to purchase it in print form. I put the price about as low as I could. Get the link here.
Grief is such a hard thing to navigate- regardless of the trigger being a bird or a child, all loss hurts, but at different depths. I’ve lost a child and my heart aches for the parents of that poor boy. It certainly doesn’t stop you from loving – I’ve found I love more fiercely now
I am so sorry for your loss. I shared my experience but I haven’t suffered the depths of grief many others have, and I keep learning from others who are further along in the journey. Hugs!