How to Make a Happy Home for Your Family
As mamas we want to create a peaceful, happy home atmosphere, where our family will want to come back to in the years to come. We want our homes to be our family’s place of comfort. There are many ways we can work on that.
It was often said that the mom is the one who controls the atmosphere of the home. As moms who are at home a lot of the time, we do have a big part to play in the home atmosphere that is created.
Here are the best tips I have for making your home a happy place.
Work on Mama’s Heart
Sometimes we have so much going on in our own minds and hearts that we don’t take care of the atmosphere around us. I want to share some tips that have helped me as a busy mom of little ones to work on the home atmosphere.
As a newlywed, my prayer was that my home would be a resting place from this hard world and a happy place my family would want to come back to because of the memories lingering there. That is still my prayer. It starts with me.
Be Present.
Try to be present whenever you are around your family, as much as possible. Even when we are busy, we can still be living in the moment.
Look at your little ones and smile at them. That is a great way to show them you are consciously thinking about them, and that you care about them. Listen to them when they tell you their little stories.
I often notice that if I am on my phone too much or not paying attention to them, my children quarrel a lot more.
When I try to not spend time on my phone around them so much, take away any other distractions, and instead pay attention to them as much as I can, they become a lot happier and less quarrelsome.
Sing.
Even if we are not perfect singers, singing can really cheer up the home atmosphere. I am trying to work on this to make it a habit because it certainly isn’t a habit for me.
You can also turn on songs and sing along. Play music that is restful and joyful. You will often see the whole atmosphere cheer up when you do that.
Or maybe, for your family, the sense of peace comes from quietness. In that case, turn off all the extra noises.
Practice gratitude.
Our home atmosphere depends a lot on how we as moms feel. We can work on practicing gratitude.
Sometimes I am tempted to complain about my little house, the unfinished walls, or that nothing matches and the walls aren’t painted. If I remember that I have it so much better than so many in the world, and count my blessings, I really do find that I have so much to be thankful for.
Take time to notice the moments of joy throughout your day. It is often in the little things. The more I think about the things I am thankful for, the more I am able to feel happy and peaceful.
Take care of yourself.
As moms, we can’t just go out and rest or relax whenever we wish. However, there are small ways we can take care of ourselves so that we don’t get too burned out, so we can create the home atmosphere we desire.
It doesn’t mean we should force ourselves to look and act happy always even when we don’t feel like it. We have feelings we need to acknowledge, but work on whatever is hindering you from creating that atmosphere you want in the home.
Sometimes when I have to think through issues and work through things, my patience is shorter. We can’t ignore those situations. Sometimes I realize that for my children’s sake, I need to come back to some things a bit later. So I set those feelings aside, and revisit the occasion in my mind once I have a chance later in the day.
I have heard that the best gift you can give your children is your own healing. Don’t bury hurt from the past or present situations. Work it through, so that you can stop the cycle.
I am no expert in this, but I encourage you to find someone who can help you. Don’t ignore your own feelings. We can’t run on empty.
Try to make it a priority to also spend quiet time with God each day, even if it is just for a few minutes. We need His help and presence in creating our peaceful, happy home atmosphere.
Practice Patience.
When we are present more we can often practice more patience with our little ones than if we are distracted. Do what it takes to work on your patience.
That doesn’t mean you always need to be biting your tongue to not speak sharply when your children are not listening, sometimes it means just sitting down and thinking of a good way to train your children.
Train your children.
Often when my children aren’t listening, I start getting impatient. Many times it is not that they are being rebellious, it’s just that I haven’t been keeping up with my training.
When I start catching myself getting impatient and upset with them, it is time to sit down and think of a solution.
There are many different ways that happy families have to train their children.
Sometimes I have called my girls to me and told them we would try something new. Every time they wouldn’t obey me quickly and cheerfully, they would get a mark under their name on the whiteboard. After 5 marks they would get an extra chore.
We erase any marks and start fresh each morning. Things quickly improve when I do that. Best of all I can cheerfully remind them and make a mark, instead of getting impatient.
I have noticed that my children don’t like impatient parents. They usually prefer consequences for their actions and a cheerful parent, over having me get impatient and short-tempered with them.
Our children need to grow up in happy, peaceful homes. There are ways to work on giving them that with training. Here are some more tips for helping your children and your home atmosphere.
Establish good routines.
Children thrive on routines. When they know what is coming next, they feel more secure.
Along with having a cheerful mama for your children, work on consciously creating good routines in your home.
Get out of the house.
Running around too much can be stressful for your children, but on the other hand, we all sometimes need a break from the daily grind.
Try to get your children (and yourself!) out of the house occasionally. Even just playing outside can be good for anyone’s happiness. This is probably one of the easiest ways to restore happiness when we are stressed out.
Learn to make happy memories with the simple things around you.
Work on your house for a good home atmosphere.
Home is where the heart is. That doesn’t mean the home has to be a perfect place. Your children will remember more how they felt and how happy home life was, than how poor your home was.
However, in any home, whether rich or poor, you can also work on the physical house to improve it. That can help a lot with the atmosphere as well.
Keep it clean and organized.
A clean, organized home is good for most everyone’s mental health. But we shouldn’t stress over it when we can’t keep it like we wish, especially with young children. It’s real life after all.
Have a specific place for everything.
Do the best you can with housekeeping as a busy mom, and teach your children to help with chores. Then smile and sing, and forget the rest!
Work on minimalizing.
Having too much stuff can really feel stressful. Make it a habit to declutter as you go about your day. Whenever you see things you don’t need and use, give it away or pitch it.
Teach your children to not keep everything. If there are too many toys lying around, get rid of some, or at least set up a toy rotation system.
Add decor that helps your home atmosphere.
Your home atmosphere can be helped sometimes by the decorating you do to make you house an inviting place. Even on a budget, you can bring in a bouquet of fresh flowers or other things that can add a bit cheer.
Burn candles in the evening, or add other touches that you and your family can enjoy. Let the natural light into your living spaces during the day.
These small changes can help our mood so that we can have a happier home.
Save it for later:
Home Sweet Home
There is an old song that goes:
“What makes a happy family? Listen, and I will tell. It’s not your house. It’s not your car, or the toys you like so well. The trips you take, or the radio, or the money you have to spend. It’s something better than all of these. It’s something that will not end.
It’s love of dad who works so hard to get the things we need. It’s mother loving and helping you in every kindly deed. It’s sister’s love, and brother’s love, and your love for each one, that makes a happy family when every day is done!”
(You can find the music here. Some of the words are a bit different than what I learned growing up.)
Creating the happy home environment you desire can be a lot of work. It is worth it to create a haven for our family and others who need a resting place in this hard world.
Work with your own heart’s needs, train your children with love and joy, and work on your housekeeping to make your home, sweet home!
